


I Would Lose Everything For You

by ConHivemindCentral



Series: Con Rambles About Book 4 [2]
Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dreams and Nightmares, Dreams vs. Reality, Flowers, Grief/Mourning, Implied Alfonse/Kiran, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Loss of Identity, Manipulation, Nonbinary Summoner | Eclat | Kiran, Other, except more literally cause dream realms, renaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:53:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28058730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConHivemindCentral/pseuds/ConHivemindCentral
Summary: Reality is harsh and cruel, dreaming is light and relieving, yet we all wake up someday.To dream eternal, how I wish to do so... especially with you by my side, Alfonse.Turn away from the bleak future without you, and stay in a warm floral haven. Under the lady's thumb they'll stay, but at least they're happy. Right?
Series: Con Rambles About Book 4 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2063115
Kudos: 5





	I Would Lose Everything For You

Alfonse stumbled back in shock. There it was, under Kiran's hood all along, was him. Or rather them. Alfonse had been suspecting that something was... amiss with themselves, and seeing what appreared to be his body on the ground only further cemented it in their mind.

This was a dream, and they were not Alfonse. They were Kiran. The second-in-command, the strategist, the quiet yet always loyal partner. 

There was nothing else left to do other than stand still, and weep. The hum of faes in the background was neither consoling nor comforting, a reminder of the torture they faced along this fath. An almost cruel and agonizing reminder - Alfonse had died. Fighting Hel. And it was all Kiran's fault. Hot tears brushed against their cheecks, falling onto the ground and disappearing into small blooms of flowers, yet no interest was paid to this. Kiran knew that Sharena would undoubtedly be even more emotional at this, with her identity crisis and further history with her brother; silently cursing themselves, Kiran began to walk away from the doppleganger, grabbing the hood and reattaching it onto their body. It felt comfortable and right, in so many wrong ways. 

"Wait, are you leaving so soon?" A sickly sweet voice rang in Kiran's head, disorienting yet caring. Freyja, the maker of this realm, this dream, this... ungodly sight. "Please come back Kiran, I have a small... proposal for you." Her goat-like form materialised from nothingness, before shifting back into a humanoid appearence - a dökkálfr, through and through. Her hand stretched towards Kiran, a smile crossed between sorrow and willing crept across her face, as she rang out her deal: "If you stay with me, in this world, I will give you back your dear Prince, but you must stay with me here, forever and bring back Freyr as well. How does that sound?"

The choice was clear - face the truth, or run away. Even if everything was true, and Alfonse was gone for good, then surely Sharena would have nothing to fear. She would've just been raised as the sole heir to her kingdom's throne. Maybe then, her parents would've truly cared for her. Only if she escaped, though. She once did it before, and the deal was lopsided in the nightmare queen's favour, so surely asking for Sharena's absense would be... merciful in a way. She wouldn't need to remember a single thing about the whole experience, about Alfonse, the fairies...

...about Kiran. 

Sighing, the summoner's hand went to meet Freyja's, before holding it back. "Only, and only, if Sharena is allowed to escape here, alive and unknowing of anything that ever transpired here. Otherwise, it would just be more unecessary torture, and she's been through a lot as of recent." 

Freyja looked down at Kiran, her smile warm and seemingly non-malicious. "That sounds fair to me, and for a bonus, I'll allow your other friend and those Light Elves free as well. How about that?" 

Kiran drew a breath in, before hesitating. It seemed... too good to be true. They would forever be indebted to Freyja, and even if Alfonse was dead, what would happen to the other heroes? Kiran couldn't ignore the longing in their heart, pounding deeply in their chest. This may be the only way to see him again, and to finally tell him everything. Live in bliss within a dream, and fall further into it, encasing the both of them. Nothing would matter anymore. Nothing at all. 

Nothing.

Kiran's hand met with Freyja's, and the two shook hands on it. It was sealed, and soon the realm of the wake would be sealed forever to Kiran. It was time. Time to bid farewell to the others in the dream, with the walls distorting at Kiran's touch. The others were resting a short while away from the palace, and numberous small blooms littered the floor. Sharena was quietly sobbing into her own hands, failing to catch the tears. 

"Sharena..." Kiran began, before stopping. Would it just hurt her more? First her brother, now one of her dearest friends? Time ticked away, and soon they would never be able to talk again. "Sharena, you're going home soon. Without me, but with Peony and Mira..."

Sharena could only stare at her brother's figure, with a different person inside of it. The robes did nothing to hide the truth from her - this wasn't her brother, but one of her dearest friends. And now they were meant to say goodbye?! The cruel world warped around them, as the two stared at each other, knowing this would be the last tehy ever saw of each other. 

"Kiran... Please don't forget that name. For me." Sharena pulled out a small bloom - a single marigold, and shoved it into Kiran's hand. "Thank you... for..." The words stopped, broken by sobs and tears on both sides. "Why...? Why... do I... have to lose someone else?!"

"Sharena..." Kiran wanted to comfort the Askran princess, but found no words. It was... awful. At the very least, she could go home and be happy? The dream just a non-existant memory... It was merciful in a way. She woud be spared whatever torture could've awaited her at Freyja's hands, and Kiran would be be able to spend the rest of their days by Alfonse's side, never growing old and the fires of love ever burning. 

The droan of the gullinkambi sounded, as a white light poured onto and through Sharena, as she tried to stop her tears from falling faster. Their eyes settled one last time, and the Askran princess bidded her last farewells with a shaky, small voice:

"Goodbye Kiran."

* * *

Light poured from above, and Sharena gently sat up within a green field of grass and marigold blooms. No way to tell how much time had passed between now and when she first fell asleep in this gigantic field. It was, at the very least, warm and gentle, much unlike the harsh bright colours of the nightmare that had followed her. Although... she could barely remember it. 

So why was it that she cried at the sight of these flowers? And her face was also dampened?

"Sharena!" The Askran princess spun around to find her brother running towards her, helping her up onto her feet. Alfonse looked at Sharena, a mix of relief, confusion and panic coated his face. "Do you know where Kiran went?"

"Kiran...? I..." Why was that name... so familiar? She just needed to see a face, or a recogisable feature, and then everything would fall in place, but right now? Nothing came to mind of this 'Kiran' individual. "I..." She took in a breath of pure air, feeling it fill herself up. "I'm sorry Alfonse, but I... don't think I know a Kiran?"

Her brother immediately recoiled back, his arms close to himself, almost hugging him. It felt... very very wrong. Like he was... someone else? Or maybe it was her that was someone else? 

Someone else?

"Like Peony?" A voice echoes through the fields, as a scantily-clad goddess approached the siblings. "Oh, don't look suprised, sweet bloom."

"Loki, leave this place at once!" Alfonse commanded, drawing his sword towards her. "We don't need any of your foolishness here, we're already stuck with... Actually nevermind! Sharena doesn't know what's going on here, and I'd rather you'd leave us alone!"

Loki tipped her own staff at the prince, lowering his sword with it. "Oh, who's to say that is your sister? And this is all another dream? And Kiran is truly dead, and will never be coming back?" As Alfonse gripped his sword tighter, Loki chuckled to herself. "Well, the two of you clearly believe that you're siblings, so I'll let it slide. And this is reality, so again, allow it to pass. Oh, and Kiran..." She sauntered past a confused Sharena, and whispered something within Alfonse's ear.

"What..." Alfonse's hushed voice escaped him before he could stop it. "Kiran is... really..." His brow furrowed as he lifted the Folkvangr to Loki's chin. "I don't believe you, or your many lies. I will not believe you! There must be a way to get Kiran back, somehow!"

"Nope", Loki chuckled. "Your precious little partner is gone forever! The dream stole them away, and there's nothing you can do about it~" In a small puff of light, Loki evaporated into her surroundings, leaving Alfonse only slashing the air around him.

Heavily breathing, he crumpled to the ground beside a lone, sleeping figure, hugging it closely to his chest, and whispering over and over... something inaudible to Sharena. It was awful seeing her brother like this, alone and defeated; Sharena returned his first favour of her awakened self, supporting him on her shoulder, as he continously whispered for the figure to "Wake up" and "Not let the dream consume you". A sigh soon echoed from him, and he finally admitted defeat. 

"Goodbye Kiran..."

* * *

Kiran? Who was... Kiran? 

The lonely figure couldn't remember a thing about... anything, really. Name, age, identity - all gone, vanished. Should they get up, and wander wherever their feet may take them? Or should they stay laying in a lonely space? Digging hands into the ground, the... thing sat up and looked around their view. A large castle pierced the skies in front of them, and the figure couldn;t help but wonder if it held a key to their memories of... anything. Their purpose, life, identity, ANYTHING! Anything would be nice, just please, please, please! Please be something good.

The humanoid stumbled to their feet, only to fall shortly after finding stablisiation. Their feet ached, as though it could not support themself on it's weight. But surely... it should? Maybe a branch or pitfall caused them to trip. The slow process of standing was repeated, and the results were only a quicker fall. It wasn't just their ankles that hurt - everything did. It felt as though it had only just been on fire, and that it was still roaring on in some limbs - both inside and out. 

Why did it hurt so much? The being only wanted to cry - but no tears would fall. They wanted to scream - but no voice was heard. It was impossible to do anything. Maybe they should just... go back... to sleep...

Eyes fluttered open once again. The sky above had not changed - a dark sun in a purple sea. Had time even passed? Nothing felt different, yet everythign felt new and refreshed. Was this purgatory?

"Marigold? Oh Marigold, where are you? You still haven't drunk the nectar!" a voice rang out, smooth and sweet with nothing but care and affection in it. Struggling to keep closing eyes open, the being dragged themselves to the voice's location - it felt like such a long distance, yet the distance covered by it was only a couple meters away. They could try standing on unsupporting ankles, but it was liable to fail. 

It wated to scream to that voice that something was over here and needed help, but their voice wouldn't co-operate with the body. The pain of their throat was overwhelming whenever a noise was forced, so it could only draw and pray to whoever watched over them that the lady would find them. Yet.. it was... too hard to... keep...

"Marigold? Marigold, can you hear me, my little bloom?" The Voice rang out, kind and caring to the broken doll. Soft arms lifted the enigma up, and a relief immediately washed over them, once the nectar made its way through parted lips. Immediately cooling the body down, fixing itself in the cure's wake. "There, now you should be all better..."

"Th-Thank y-you..." their voice barely stammered out, as the nectar started the transformation from whatever they were to a beautiful Alfr. 

It didn't matter where they came from - this felt right. _This is right._ No need for worrying about the past now, though the name Kiran still bugs them. Who... was Kiran? Were they... friends? Like they thought - it didn't matter anymore. This was a new life, with a new purpose, and a real duty - to bring dreams to the unconscious, including to themselves and their hero. They could spend all day and night close to tehir loved ones - although the reborn soul couldn't remember any names. Again, it didn't matter then, and it will never matter now.

They are Marigold, Lady Freyja's trusted dökkálfar. Responsible for dreams of the dead. 

**Author's Note:**

> Man do I have some serious Book 4 brainrot. Like it was actually kinda intruiging with the whole "Alfonse is dead" thing but then they were all like "haha jk he's still alive have some MECHS!"
> 
> At least we're getting a picture overarcing story now (basically just Ragnarok but hey, could've been worse), like with the Generals of Hel and the Dokkafalr. I'm just gonna be over here waiting for book 6 and the eternal winter where some force has corrupted Nifl and Laevatein, Hrid and Ylgr become relevant again, like please IS! 
> 
> Sorry if it seemed a bit disjointed halfway through and rushed at the end. It was not my intention, but I suck at dialouge and I didn't want to make it seem too torturous for poor Kiran/Marigold. 
> 
> Anyway, constuctive criticism is appreciated and have a lovely Christmas/Hanukkah/whatever you celebrate (of course, if you're reading this in July, then have a lovely summer, etc)! :)


End file.
